Minty Fresh

Since I have been working in Dallas for the last few months, I have been eating at quite a few restaurants. Thus, I have become very familiar with the after-meal mint. Not all mints are created equal; there are some that are simply better than others. As a service to you, I have ranked them in ascending order:

• First, there are the hard-peppermint-candy-cane mints. These are the most common, and while they are a little better than having your breath smell like chimichangas, they aren’t memorable. Some places have the ones that are green and brown, which provide a slightly better experience, but still aren’t worth writing home about.
• Slightly better than those guys are the fruity cylindrical mints (for lack of a better name). I will usually grab a couple of these and mix flavors. My favorites are blue and red, though I usually tire of sucking on them after a little while.
• Next, are what I believe are called “pillow” mints, because they look like pillows. In my experience, I have found these most often at Chick-fil-a’s. They are tasty, and remind me a little like chewable Tylenols from when I was kid¹. The only downside is that after eating them, they turn into a sticky paste that binds to my teeth for the next ten minutes.
• Finally, we come to the king. Andes mints. If a server brings a few of these guys to the table along with the check, he automatically qualifies for a nice tip. “I’m sorry that the waiter spilled the clam chowder all over your dress, honey, but he brought Andes mints; that’s gotta be at least 15%.” One time I was leaving a place and passed the server station. There was an open and unguarded box of Andes mints sitting right there. Let’s just say I had to spend a little extra time in the gym the following day and leave it at that.

These are the things that I feel I should share about my travels.

1. I may or may not have faked headaches when I was a kid to eat more chewable Tylenols. I liked the flavor. I have no regrets.

Written by Scott Williams who lives and works in sunny Phoenix, AZ. Twitter is also a place.